Someone once told me that there were either “water people” or “mountain people.” I’ve always considered myself a “water” person because most of my vacation memories are built around vacations at small Diamond lake in Michigan, post-proms at Lake Michigan Dunes, walking along Lake Shore Drive on our pilgrimages to Chicago, or visits with family along the Atlantic coast from Portland, Maine to the Florida Keys.
Sure, I love the Smokies – and the Blue Ridge Parkway with it’s serpentine drives through wild, untamed mountains. One of my all-time favorite vacation is to the green, lush mountains of North Carolina and Tennessee.
Nothing prepared me for the Rockies.
With the base elevations at almost 1,000 feet above the highest Smokey Mountain peak and tundra mountaintops above levels incapable of sustaining even sturdy pine trees, it was breathtaking.
Lots of inspiration and fun staying in a lovely B&B to boot! It was just the type of vacation we needed.
Most importantly, I feel like my mind had a chance to open and expand out of my tunnel-vision M.O. for a few days. I spent some time sketching and rethinking my plans for the Eastman Angel.
It is still not coming together easily. Getting away allowed me some time to step back and figure out why. This really shouldn’t be that hard.
I think I’m letting too many expectations influence my ideas. I feel like the fraud and pretender – I’m not good enough, I don’t have original ideas, I’m really don’t HAVE to participate so why am I doing this to myself – you get the drift.
Most daunting – there will be “real” artists there with what I imagine to be lots of truly creative pieces. The pressure is on to make something EXTRAORDINARY! FABULOUS! Ah yes. The Inner Critic who is never really satisfied.
So now I change my direction again. I am going to meditate, yes, pray, and lean more on my heart of hearts to discern how this should go. I am not going to bail, but I am going to take control back from the Inner Critic and those angry hamsters running on the treadmill between my ears.
It’s not like the frustrations disappeared – oh yeah, they’re still there – but maybe it’s easier to put things back into perspective for a short time.
All the best – Chris